Speak

I am learning something new right now: that sometimes when you speak truth, others will not receive it, and that is OK. Usually, I am so concerned with whether or not what I have to say will be accepted. There have been so many people to please throughout my life. I went from a [mostly] well-behaved little girl, to a young woman reiterating all the “right answers” at Bible college, at church, to parents and in-laws, to other cultures, closing all possible loopholes as I set my children’s boundaries, questioning every word I write, speaking (unfortunately) faster than I can question, trying to gauge my tone (too abrupt?, too bossy?, too shy?, too loud?), and storing up verbiage for my internal thesaurus, oh, God, did I say something heretical?

My people-pleasing led me to obey too quickly, to attempt to hush my voice to a whisper when I needed to shout the truth. Because bold, loud girls are not submissive. But bold, loud girls call out injustice. And I am learning how to boldly, loudly, call out injustice. And if I misspeak? I will speak again. And if I struggle to find the right, uh, word, for the, um, moment? I will speak on. God speaks through those in whom his Spirit dwells, and I am ready to be strong and unafraid.

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” – Galatians 1:10

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